The Weekly Clutch: Coworkers, Cooking, and CS2 Weapon Stats - July 22

Welcome back to The Weekly Clutch, your weekly morning dose of meme-worthy chaos, tactical genius (or lack thereof), and all the content the CS2 weapon stats page forgot to include.

This week: We honor workplace etiquette, question dinner decisions, and demand justice for a compact killer. Let’s get into it.

Coworkers That Know Their CS2 Weapon Stats

Redditor u/Icy-Excitement3262 dropped the “original coworkers” meme on /r/cs2, and we can’t stop thinking about it. Forget “team players” - these two were fragging and flashing long before HR directors and CEOs started going on business trip Coldplay concerts together.

We don’t know what’s more terrifying: the idea of them holding A site or the awkward small talk in the break room after a TK incident. Either way, HR definitely doesn’t have a protocol for 1v5 clutches.

When the Cooking Goes Too Far - But Still Better Than Some CS2 Weapon Stats

“Don’t let him cook,” they said - and they were right. This cursed culinary setup, posted by u/big_manlife, proves that just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Much like buying an auto-sniper on eco round.

The resemblance to certain “strats” we’ve seen in Silver matches is uncanny. No smokes, no plan, just pure, unseasoned chaos.

MP9 Deserves Better - A CS2 Weapon Stats Injustice

“Justice for MP9,” declares u/HUNTER2800, and honestly? We agree.

CS2 weapon stats might say it’s a budget gun, but in close quarters, this thing is a buzzsaw. Let’s be honest - we’ve all been laser-beamed by an MP9 while holding an AK like it was a baguette. Respect the SMG.

Gabe, buff it. Or at least give it a cool skin.

Game Time > FaceTime

u/Previous-Depth-7903 dropped a relatable banger: “No calls during game time.” Truer words have never been spoken - or screamed into a mic while defusing a bomb with 0.2 seconds left.

Real ones put their phones on silent. If your mom calls mid-clutch, she might catch a well-placed flashbang.

Plate Behavior and CS2 Weapon Stats: A Comparison

Finally, a masterpiece from u/Kitchen_Change4487: “Plate.” A subtle meme, yet deeply philosophical. Is it about rage? Hunger? A metaphor for economic decisions in CS2?

We’re not sure, but we do know this plate has better eco control than half the player base. And honestly, it probably checks its corners, too.

Bonus Meme - Upcoming Tournaments (Probably)

No memes this week on the CS2 tournament schedule 2025, but don’t worry - we’ll keep watching /r/cs2 for memeified bracket breakdowns and rage-fueled group stage commentary.

Until then, keep your aim steady, your comms clean, and for the love of all things sacred, check your CS2 weapon stats before buying another AWP with 2k in the bank.

Stay clutched, fraggers.

The GOCORE Team